In this thread, CB reveals what he does for a living

"CB" (jrcb)
11/14/2020 at 16:26 • Filed to: Might as well shitpost

This entire time, I’ve been...

Canadian.

That’s right, I’ve been Canadian the whole time! Which means that in my spare time, I watch curling, enjoy nature, and complain about the snow even though I live in Saskatchewan.

Wait, everyone knew this?

Shit.

DISCUSSION (51)

ClassicDatsunDebate > CB
11/14/2020 at 16:32

Lef-ten-ant Obvious.

CB > ClassicDatsunDebate
11/14/2020 at 16:33

Actually, in high school I obtained the rank of Captain Obvious. My second-in-command was Lieutenant Logic, who often had issues with my ideas.

CRider > CB
11/14/2020 at 16:37

I thought you came out of the freezer closet a long time ago?

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > CB
11/14/2020 at 16:38

My entire life has been a lie.

Exage03040 @ opposite-lock.com > CB
11/14/2020 at 16:51

Kinja'd!!!

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > CB
11/14/2020 at 16:55

Well that's where the smell of poutine and maple syrup is coming from.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > CB
11/14/2020 at 16:58

The irony of this is that Tim Hortons is now owned by Restaurant Brands... a Canadian-American holding company. So... not 100% Canadian anymore.

For a coffee place more truly Canadian, you go to Second Cup, Coffee Time, Bridghead Coffee or Timothy’s.

wafflesnfalafel > CB
11/14/2020 at 16:59

I feel so betrayed... (so.. um.. can we come up and visit yet?)

CB > wafflesnfalafel
11/14/2020 at 17:01

Border’s still closed.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > CB
11/14/2020 at 17:03

Life ain’t easy for a male escort in Saskatchewan. But some Labatt and timbits certainly help.

For Sweden > CB
11/14/2020 at 17:11

How are you paid to be Canadian? The national NDP has never formed a government!

Blondude > CB
11/14/2020 at 17:14

So CB actually stand for Canadian Bacon?

CB > Blondude
11/14/2020 at 17:15

We’ll never know.

CB > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
11/14/2020 at 17:22

Silk long johns are a job perk too.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB
11/14/2020 at 17:24

Just admit you're a remote sex worker.

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > CB
11/14/2020 at 17:24

Shit, that means I’m Canadian too. Oh god, we are the same.

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/14/2020 at 17:25

With this rural Canadian internet? If only I could live such a life!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB
11/14/2020 at 17:25

It pays good but you can't really screen your clients... Every day is a new regret!

Jb boin > For Sweden
11/14/2020 at 17:36

Socialist !

For Sweden > Jb boin
11/14/2020 at 17:41

The Soviets win the Summit Series in the end

scoob > CB
11/14/2020 at 17:46

Just for that, I’m pressing the big red button

Urambo Tauro > CB
11/14/2020 at 18:52

Your Japanese flag avatar never fooled anyone. :P

Stef Schrader > CB
11/14/2020 at 19:10

So, does this mean that you’re going to send me Timbits?

Stef Schrader > CB
11/14/2020 at 21:13

I’m a nobody. :(

CB > Stef Schrader
11/14/2020 at 21:15

Untrue! You’re an excellent writer, race car driver, and ... *squints at handwriting* porch enthusiast?

zipfuel > CB
11/14/2020 at 21:19

I think I reached peak Canada while on a mini-break in Quebec city: we were staying in the Chateau Frontenac, I went to get takeout poutine and m y wife was watching curling on tv when I got back...

CB > Stef Schrader
11/14/2020 at 21:29

I’m not even close to a Tim Hortons! It’s a 45 minute drive one way for me.

Stef Schrader > CB
11/14/2020 at 22:27

I gots gud parsh but can’t afford to fix and race it (...or anything). :( I’m so out of practice driving on track that it’s depressing. I really do feel like a nobody lately.

Tohru > CB
11/14/2020 at 22:32

commanded by General Failure

Stef Schrader > CB
11/14/2020 at 22:32

Awww. :’(

shop-teacher > Stef Schrader
11/14/2020 at 22:34

That makes me sad to hear you say that. I want you to know that every single time you have ever come up in conversation, which has happened several times with several people, your writing is universally loved.

CB > Stef Schrader
11/14/2020 at 22:57

I hope you know that I’ve shared your writing and work with non-car people because it’s that good. I hope things start looking up soon, because you deserve it.

CB > Tohru
11/14/2020 at 22:57

General Knowledge, actually. He also had issues with my ideas.

Tohru > CB
11/14/2020 at 23:03

having issues with logic and knowledge, being Canadian...
you wouldn’t happen to be related to Seat Safety Switch, would ya?
...come to think of it i’ve never seen the two of you in the same room together...

CB > Tohru
11/14/2020 at 23:14

I am unfortunately not that creative.

Stef Schrader > shop-teacher
11/15/2020 at 00:55

(I’m not crying, I’m not crying. Okay, I’m tearing up a little. That goes for CB’s comment, too. )

Aw, man. Thanks so much. Occasionally I just need to be slapped out of my doom-talk.

Stef Schrader > CB
11/15/2020 at 00:56

Wow. That’s pretty incredible. I feel so rusty lately that it’s unreal. Thank you. That means a lot.

(I’m still not crying, I’m not crying at all, nope.)

sn4cktimes > zipfuel
11/15/2020 at 01:09

I assume some unnecessary “ s orry ”’s were said at some point during the day then. And you possibly held open a door.

SmugAardvark > CB
11/15/2020 at 02:02

Plot twist: CB is actually an a sentient acorn from southeastern Luxemburg .

CB > SmugAardvark
11/15/2020 at 02:22

Shhhhhhh

SmugAardvark > CB
11/15/2020 at 02:34

You can’t silence the truth.

But you can always try to smother it with a pillow in the middle of the night.

CB > SmugAardvark
11/15/2020 at 02:35

Gag orders also work.

SmugAardvark > CB
11/15/2020 at 02:41

Playing rough will cost you extra.

Svend > CB
11/15/2020 at 07:41

Sorry. We knew aboot you all along, eh .

Svend > CB
11/15/2020 at 07:48

No M ajor Issues, Petty Squabbles, Private Space or Corporal Punishment.

shop-teacher > Stef Schrader
11/15/2020 at 09:24

You are excellent at your craft, and as far as anyone can tell over the internet, you’re a good person too .

I’ll be on the hyphen if you ever want to talk. Or you can email me at woodshop00@gmail.com.

zipfuel > sn4cktimes
11/15/2020 at 11:30

That’s aboot right

Stef Schrader > shop-teacher
11/15/2020 at 14:57

See you there!

Longtime Lurker > Stef Schrader
11/15/2020 at 15:11

If I sent you Timbits would you still want them? T hey might be a bit stale by the time they get there.

Stef Schrader > Longtime Lurker
11/15/2020 at 16:10

Yeah, maybe don’t. People have tried before! They travel best in a box where they can kind of “breathe” like any other bread product, but that’s not a great idea ever, much less in the middle of a pandemic. You can seal them up, but then t hey get weirdly soggy in transport. There just isn’t a good way short of some kind of foodservice-grade frozen transport thing.

shop-teacher > Stef Schrader
11/15/2020 at 16:54

Great!